CHIN CHIN

CHIN CHIN
Chin chin is a snack that originated from Nigeria, it's crunchy and deep fried, it's ideal for all type of occasions , quite easy to make, the only problem I encounter is stopping myself from eating them all up before I finish frying.

Recipe
•Prep time: 30minutes
•Cook time: 15minutes
•Total time: 45minutes

Utensils
• Rolling Pin
• A Clean Board, table or Smooth Flat Surface
• A Frying Pan or pot
• A Medium Sized bowl
• A Sharp Knife

Ingredients
Flour 3kg
Butter 750g
Sugar 80g - 90g
Eggs 6
Nutmeg 1
Milk flavor 3 tablespoonfuls
Real milk as desired
Baking powder 3 tablespoonfuls
Salt 1/2 teaspoon levelled
Vanilla flavor 1 tablespoon
Vegetable oil (deep frying)

PROCEDURE 

1. Sieve your measured flour into a dry bowl.
2. Add the baking powder, salt,vanilla flavor, salt, nutmeg, milk, into the measured flour, and mix together.
3. Make a hole in the middle and pour in your whisked egg and mix together very well.
4. Make a hole in the Centre, gradually pour water with the help of one hand to form a hard dough,then knead cover the bowl with a tray and allow to rest for 10 to 15 minutes.
5. Sprinkle little flour on the table, cut some portion from the dough, put on the table and roll with the help of your rolling pin, roll flat, then use a knife or pizza cutter to cut into your desired shape, most people prefer square shape.
6. Place your frying pan or pot on the fire, add vegetable oil, when hot, fry to golden brown.

EAVESDROPPING.

Hey there, sorry for not posting for a long time am really sorry, just that I've been very busy with stuffs, that's what we call it when we don't want to go into details. Am on twitter by the way and here is my handle, @call_me_debbie.
I love hanging out alone sometimes, it helps clear my head, if you haven't tried it before you should, goto somewhere no body knows or will distract you, sit and think please no negative thoughts, I was sitting by my self sipping my bottle of sprite, you know how it is when you are on your own not trying to listen to someone's conversation, but at the end you find yourself eavesdropping, I wasn't even trying, a girl was forced to breakup with her boyfriend because of circumstances, like she didn't want to but she had to, her reasons or the two lovers reasons were, I just couldn't help countering each one in my head :

Source : abc

AGE MATES ; does it matter? Our society has created this whole notion that as a lady you must marry a guy older that you with at least two years, but I still ask does it matter? This problem has destroyed so many relationships, just because they felt it won't work because the girl is same age with them or older than them.
FINANCE; This I can understand to an extent that it does affect a relationship, nobody wants to go into marriage without financial security.
I WONT BE READY WHEN YOU ARE; I know it does take a while before guys are ready for marriage, majority actually, but I have seen and heard about guys who marry early and doing very well, so am not a 100% with this answer.
FAMILY WONT AGREE: Getting the blessings of your family is really important, but does it have to control your happiness, does it have to dictate who you can or can't marry, so many people ended up not been with the love of their lives because of silly reasons given by their families, am not suggesting going against them but there are times you do need to put them in their place.
AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU; Are you the one to dictate what's good and not good enough for me? This reason I sincerely do hate the most, like let me decide, let me make my own decisions don't make them for me
Listening to her complains, I ached to go to her and advice her not to throw away her happiness just because of silly reasons today, that she might regret tomorrow, it may seem like the best decision now, it might actually end up been the best decision she ever made, who knows? But her happiness should be her main priority.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Over 6ft tall, dark, handsome, God-fearing, six packs, good dentition, caring, loving, nice and friendly to me but rude to other girls, yes almost every girl has a list like this, I just gave you a glimpse into my mental checklist of my kind of perfect guy, don't call me a dreamer because am not, the God I serve will definitely do it for me, forgerrit he does wonders yeah. Having a mental checklist has blinded some girls to the extent they forget to ask very important questions at the beginning of a relationship, Mr Tall, dark and Handsome, your fine face cannot deceive me, I cover my eyes with the blood of Jesus AMEN, I ask you questions, you answer, call me a detective, or inquisitive, yes I accept it all, it's for my own good, and yours too, we won't want problems,

"What's your Genotype? "

God heals the sick raise the dead, but he also said do not tempt the lord your God, you are AS am AS let's not tempt the almighty God bikonu, I can't be running from one church to the other looking for miracles when it can be avoided.

"Where you born a man or a woman?"

Yes, I need to know this, this one that everywhere you look, you seeing transgenders, sexy men, and Handsome ladies, I have the right to know who am getting married to, so Mr Emmanuel, where you at any point in time known as Emmanuella? 

"Christian, Muslim, atheist, pagan or anywhere belle face?

This is important, so I don't use my prayers to spoil your own, and you don't use your own to spoil my own, there's nothing wrong for a Christian to marry from any other denomination, but I'd rather we pray to one God, after all a family that pays together, stays together

"Do you have a child? One or two or three or four?"

I would like to decide for myself if I want to be a step mother or not, no imposing,tell me upfront if am okay with it, fine, if am not, to your tent Oh ISRAEL!!!

"What if I run my mouth too much, will you correct my brain with slaps? "

Is it an habit? Have you done it before? You have anger issues or???  Will my face be redesigned from its original design?? I am too fragile for this please

"Can you cook?"

Please before anybody starts attacking me, there are men who cook, baby if you don't, be willing to learn, for the sake of the nights of indomies, or bread and suya, that I will be too tired to cook

"What's your view on cheating? If it's okay to you, can I also cheat too?"

Asking all these questions and more doesn't guarantee a good relationship or marriage but it's better to ask than to keep mute about it. It's  hard to predict if a relationship or marriage will last the test of time or dissolve like sat in water.


Add your questions to the list.

Y

MEAT PIE

MEAT PIE

A meat pie is a pie with a filling of meat and often other savory ingredients. They are popular in United Kingdom, Ghana, Nigeria, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and South Africa. Wikipedia

It can be served in any and every occasions, the recipie can be altered to your taste or preference especially the fillings, I decided to post this recipe yesterday, when I stopped by a roadside store to get Meatpies because i was very hungry, fortunately for me I bought one, it was a far cry from the Meatpies I know, it could have been referred to as flour pie, there was nothing inside the pie, I was angry but then I realized not everybody knows how to bake a good meatpie.

RECIPE

EQUIPMENTS 

• Rolling pin 

•  Knife 

•  Chopping board 

•  Meat pie cutters 

•  Pot or frying pan 

•  Bowls

•  Sieve

INGREDIENTS

• Flour. 500g
• Butter 200g
• Salt.    
• Maggi (chicken Benny or any) 
• Water

FILLINGS

• Minced meat 
• Onions diced
• Irish potatoes (diced or marched) 
• Cabbage (optional)
• Carrot (diced tiny)
• Seasonings (Maggi, curry, salt, grinder pepper)
• Vegetable oil (half soup spoon)

METHOD

1. Boil your Irish potatoes in salty water, drain water with a sieve and marsh.
2. Put a clean pot or frying pan on the fire, add the vegetable oil, allow to get hot, add the diced onions and stir for a while, add the fresh minced meat, stir for some time, allow to cook for 10 to 15 minutes and add the seasonings (salt, Maggi, curry, and little grinder pepper, add the diced carrot,the marshed potatoes  stir and allow to cook for five minutes, add the slice cabbage (optional) if okay, bring down and allow to cool down before usage.
3. Sieve the flour into a bowl, add a little salt, maggi and butter, mix together with the rubbing in method, till the butter mixes well with the flour and they are inseparable. 
4. Add little water and mix to format a hard dough, allow the dough to rest for 5 minutes.
5. Sprinkle little flour on the table, roll out the dough with the help of your rolling pin, cut with the meatpie cutter, place the fillings inside the dough water wash the edges lightly and close, the water acts as a glue, the egg wash.
6. Grease the baking tray lightly, put in the oven and bake till golden brown.

CHOCOLATE CAKE IN A MUG

So while surfing the net, looking for cake pictures, yeah I love looking up cake pictures, I came across this recipe, I added a twist to it by adding chocolate, it came out great.

EQUIPMENTS
Mug
Spoon
Bowl
Whisk
Microwave

DURATION
20 minutes

INGREDIENTS

Flour ----------- ---- 4 tablespoonfuls
Cocoa powder---- 2 tablespoonfuls
Sugar --------------- 2 tablespoonfuls
Baking powder --- 1/4 tablespoon
Milk ------------------ As desired
Egg ------------------- 1
Vegetable oil ------- 2 tablespoon
1/2 teaspoon vanilla


METHOD
Step 1: put the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking powder, mix very well.

Step 2:add the milk, egg, oil and mix together with a fork or spoon until smooth.

Step 3: pour the mixture into greased mugs

Step 4:.put in the microwave on high mode for 3 minutes or until it's ready.

See very easy to make, and cocoa powder can be substituted with born vita, ovaltine.

MY INABILITY TO SAVE

Overtime I've discovered that I lack the ability to save or better still let me put it this way, the temptations of the world hinders my ability to save. I have tried so many methods and various ways of saving, I remembered saving money in between books, it worked just fine for the first three days, till my classmate bought coconut candy, I asked for a little, she called me BEGGI BEGGI, I ran home took my savings and spent it all, yeah I enjoyed the coconut candy alone, after all its my money and my savings.
Since we all now know how the in between books saving my money method went, I decided to start keeping it with my friend so I won't be tempted, I gave her a stern warning that on no account should she give me the money until the end of the term, then KITO slippers was in vogue, if you did not own one you just weren't there yet, I ran straight to her house to collect my money, to make everything worse, she was wearing her KITO slippers and I wasn't, I asked her for my money she refused giving me, I begged her she still refused, I also told her lies just to get it from her she stood her ground and refused, until after threatening to report her to her parents for things she did in school, she returned my money like magic, please this can not be tagged as blackmailing it's my money na, after all I have to be among the happening girls in school.
Then came the era of saving box, I got one and started saving again, I did pretty well, although the money comprised of my money, my mum and dad's change from errands, my brothers money I took from their pocket, it's not stealing o, it's collecting my brothers money and saving it, I was walking along a street one beautiful day like that and saw this lovely matching dress and head band, Hmmmmmm I broke the safe to get the money to buy the dress.
I finally opened a bank account when I gained admission, I thought of all the money I would save, i will build a big house, Buy a car, get one for my dad, another for my mum, I might buy one for my brothers for them to share, I try na, after all its an account I can save any amount of money I can with it, first and second semester was great I saved a substantial amount of money, I was proud of my self, until the evil spirit came again, DEBBY BUY PHONE, YOU KNOW, YOU NEED A NEW PHONE, BUY PHONE DEBBIE, remember in the bible how Jesus christ rebuked the devil and over came temptation, yes I am not Jesus, am debby I got the phone, and I loved it, until the real owners (robbers) took it from me, that I was not using it well.


Have you ever tried saving and did not succeed? Or you are like me that can't resist temptation? I would love to know about your experience in the comment section

BUTTERED BISCUIT

This is a really simple biscuit, it's great as a snack, I try to make them in excess, because it just doesn't last long, it disappears very fast, and I keep wondering
where they all end up, but this recipe is great and easy to follow,

INGREDIENTS 

Flour ------------- 500g
Butter ----------- 250g
Sugar ------------ 150g
Egg --------------- 2
Nutmeg or Cinnamon
Baking powder- 1/2 teaspoon levelled
Salt ---------------- a pinch
Vanilla flavor ---- 2 capful

METHOD

1. Cream the butter and sugar together very well, wash and break the eggs then whisk.
2. Sieve the flour into another bowl, add the nutmeg or cinnamon, baking powder and salt then gradually add them into the mixture, also add the flour and the whisked eggs to format an average dough, roll out on a flat table and cut into different shapes.
3. Grease the oven tray, place the dough and bake for 20 to 30 minutes to a light golden brown.

NOTE: The biscuit batter can also be pipped through a pipping bag or pipping nozzle, if using this method, add liquid milk to make the mixture lighter and allow easy pipping. 

PUFF PUFF

Puff puff is a very common snacks in Nigeria, I remember saving my money just so I could buy them ,it tasted so good, now back to the recipe

INGREDIENTS
Flour.               500g
Butter.             2 tablespoon
Sugar.             10 tablespoonful
Yeast.             1 and half tablespoon
Milk flavor.       1/2 tablespoon
Salt.                 Twice a pinch
Egg.                 1
Milk.                As desired
Nutmeg.          Twice a pinch
Warm water to mix
Grinded pepper.  Optional
Vanilla flavor.       Little
Vegetable oil for frying(deep frying)


METHOD

Step 1: sieve the measure flour into a bowl.

Step 2: add the sugar, yeast, milk flavor, salt, milk, nutmeg, grinded dry pepper,
               vanilla flavor, mix together with the help of your two hands in the rubbing
               in method.

Step 3: break the egg into a small plate, and whisk.

Step 4: make a hole in the middle of the mixture, pour in the whisked egg and                  .             mix together with your hands in the rubbing in method.

Step 5: make a hole again in the Centre, pour in the warm water and mix to a light dough and cover with a tray, leave to rest for 30 to 35 minutes.

Step 6: pour hot water into another bowl, and put under it to enable it rise faster.

Step 7: put you frying pan or pot on the fire, add vegetable oil, allow to get hot, fry till golden brown.

BE LIKE THE 500 NARIA NOTE

Two important management lessons i learnt from a 500 Naira note.
It happened some time ago.

1.  I was in an audience listening to a motivational speaker, The speaker got out his wallet and pulled out a 500 Naira note, holding it up, he asked, "Who wants this 500 naira note?" Lots of hands went up. Including mine, a slow chorus began to build as people began to shout "Me!" "Me!" I began to wonder who the lucky one would be who the speaker would choose, and I also secretly wondered (and I am sure others did too ) why he would simply give away 500 naira, Even as the shouts of "I want it" grew louder, I noticed a young woman running down the aisle. She ran up onto the stage, went up to the speaker, and grabbed the 500 naira note from his hand. "Well done, young lady," said the speaker into the microphone. The speaker simply said "Most of us just sit and wait for good things to happen, that's of no use. You've got to make things happen, make a move" 'Simply thinking about doing something is of no use and not good enough'. Our lives are like that, we all see opportunities around us, we all want the good things, but the problem is we don't take action. We all want the 500 naira notes on offer, but we don't make the move. We look at it longingly, get up, and do something about it, don't worry about what other people might think. Take Action.
2. Later, the speaker got another 500 naira note and held it up for all to see, I thought I knew what's up. But he just asked a simple question. "How much is this worth?" "Five Hundred naira!" the crowd yelled in unison. "Right," said the speaker. He then took the note and crumpled it into a ball and asked "How much is it worth now?" "Five Hundred naira!" screamed the audience, he then threw the note on the ground, stamped all over it and picked up the note and asked one more time: "And how much is it worth now?" "Five Hundred naira!" was the response. "I want you to remember this," said the speaker. "Just because someone crumples it, or stamps on it, the value of the note does not diminish. We should all be like the 500 naira note.. In our lives, there will be times when we feel crushed, stamped over, beaten. But never let your self-worth diminish. Just because someone chooses to crush you -- that doesn't change your worth one bit!

Don't allow your self-worth to diminish because someone says something nasty -- or does something dirty -- to you."
Never let your self-worth diminish

Source : Anonymous

PUBLIC OR PRIVATE PROPOSAL!!!!!!

I love going out sometimes alone , you may call me a loner, but I love it, it gives me the opportunity to sit and reflect on the things happening around me. This time around my mind had taken me back to my friend's gran ma burial ceremony I attended, just thinking and re-laughng at the silly jokes or things that happened, when a loud scream brought me back to reality, OH MY GOD, I DO, I DO, I WILL MARRY YOU MY LOVE, trust me, the amebo in me woke up from sleep, I just had to find out what was making the lady scream, she was been proposed to by her boyfriend and obviously soon to be husband, she was jumping and crying and jumping and hugging and kissing(spoilt children like that) people were there snapping, saying congratulations and all,don't get me wrong, I was happy for her, but a public proposal??? Is like a NO NO for me to an extent tho.

Oga what of I don't love you enough to get married to you?

What if I was initially planning to break up with you?


I remember watching a YouTube video, where the man got on his knees in a mall to propose to his girlfriend, with songs dancing, emotional outburst, and she said No then walked out on him, I felt terrible for him, he would have avoided the whole public disgrace by doing it privately, dinner for two, flowers and all, at least if she says No it will be between the two of you.

Different people with their preference, bros at least if you are going to do it publicly, make sure my make up is on fleek, I don't want to look like Agbasa juju, my nails perfectly done, you can't propose to me after I just finished eating Banga and starch, and yes before I forget to add this, a good photographer, you know our kids needs to see how daddy proposed to mummy on his knees( very important, no standing allowed, your knees are not paining you) with tears in his eyes (it's compulsory, very compulsory, if you like use onions to rub your eyes, I must see tears o), or you will do it again.

I would love to know which of them you prefer

SHOE SHOPPING

I dreaded going shoe shopping, right from when I was a little girl. I hated walking behind my Mum going from shop to shop in the Market searching for a shoe I would love and that would fit my ever growing feet, I have always had a long feet, leaving a shop broken hearted because the shoe I loved didn't size me, oya get up let's go to the next shop my Mum would say, I would frown, grumble and still go, the whole process of the shop owner or his boys forcing my leg into a shoe that was obviously not my size, Force your leg, force am, March the shoe well, aunty na your size, E go size you, na shoe e go expand, most of the time I return home with sore feet or a shoe I hated.
Last week I went Shoe Shopping, and as always the store owners were not nice, neither were they friendly, when I got in

Store Attendant: Aunty Wetin be your size?

Me: size 42 or 43

Store Attendant : Yeayyyyyy Aunty as you fine reach, you come get big leg, na man shoe we go give you o, we no go see your size o, e no dey market o


On and on he went, I just laughed and asked him if he was the one that created me, I no be God wey dey create person na, at least I have both legs complete, and the day I see my size or the shoe I like, the prize scares even the devil, double the amount of a smaller size of the same shoe, it's really heartbreaking.
Sometimes my friends tease the living day light out of me, the first thing they do when they enter my room is to start wearing my shoes, Haba Debby, your leg big sha, as if I dont know already

Dear store attendants everywhere, please be nice to people with big feet, it's not our fault, it's just that during creation, when God was sharing feet, we collected for two.

BUSY OR NOT

I came across this picture  on Instagram and screen shot it. It brought to mind the conversation I had with a friend, he told me he was going clubbing this night, since it was Friday #TGIF, and wanted to go rock (dance) girls, I said rock well, the he said ' debbie I know you will be jealous now, thinking I will be  with a girl, kissing, smooching romancing and doing all other stuffs, meanwhile I will be in my room sleeping, I laughed so hard. 

Our mind is really quite fascinating, it conjures up vivid pictures of what it wants us to believe, it might be it's because it happened to someone you know, or someone who knows someone who knows someone you know, you call the boo, no answer, you call again, still no answer, again again, no answer, you start worrying about about how they are with another person, betraying your love, trust, meanwhile the boo is sleeping comfortably, I am busy might just mean I am busy,or I forgot my phone might really be I forgot my phone, this is one reason why trust is of utmost importance in a relationship, no matter how you love someone and there is no trust , my dear that relationship will be like Mountt Zion that can never be moved. 

CYBER BULLY

Cyber bullying is common these days on all popular social networks ranging from, Facebook to twitter, to Instagram,it's the use of technology in harassing an individual, cyber bullying us not limited to messages, or texts it can also be a video which a person finds offensive, cyber bullying is by far one of the worst kind of bullying ever, you don't know the person picking on you, do they can't be traced, most of the time they are anonymous. Most people don't really know the damage, cyber bullying causes to an individual, it can lead to loss in appetite, stress, sleepless night, we comes across someone being bullied online then join or laugh cause we think it's funny and entertaining forgetting the damage it does to the person been bullied, I for one haven't bullied anyone online but I do recall laughing to myself when I came across someone been bullied on facebook, I considered it to be funny, karma really does work, the next morning someone on twitter called me ugly, at first I brushed it off my mind, since I know I am not ugly, I logged off, later in the day I logged back in, I saw the attention the tweet received from other Twitter users, I was laughed at, insulted the more, I felt hurt, like maybe I was actually ugly, but then it dawned on me that this is what people who are bullied constantly on the Internet feel each day, from that day onward, when I come across someone been bullied on the net, I send them a positive message, who knows, just maybe it would be what would make their day.

Cyber bullying is not limited to kids or young adult only, older people also do it whether knowingly or unknowingly, as long as you bringing someone else down just to feel good about your self, you already a bully, if you know someone that's been bullied, get them to open up to you, encourage them and make them feel good about their selves, I have come across so many cases of suicides resulting from cyber bullying it's really heartbreaking.

I MADE PANCAKES!!

I can't remember the last time I made pancakes, but today I was bored and I won't forget to add hungry, so I decided to make a little pancake, for me, myself and I unfortunately my little brother came home with his friends and reduced my ration twas quite sad and unfortunate.
This recipe is for one, you can increase the amount in case you want more

INGREDIENTS

Flour --- one cup

Egg --- one

Milk --- as desired, I used more than half tin of milk

Seasonings --- salt, Maggi, pepper (grinded), you can also add diced tomatoes, pepper and onions but I didn't

Sugar. ----. One tablespoonfull

Water--- one cup

Vegetable oil for frying

METHOD

STEP ONE

Break the egg into a clean bowl and whisk a little, then add the sugar and whisk till the sugar dissolves completely, then add half cup of water whisk and again and put the remaining half cup of water aside, Add the seasonings.

STEP TWO

Sieve the flour into another bowl.

STEP THREE

Add the tin milk to the egg mixture.

STEP FOUR

Gradually add the flour into the egg mixture, and whisk continuously without stopping till it all the flour are in the egg mixture, without lumps, The mixture would be a little thick, add the remaining water and mix very well.

STEP FIVE

Get a clean frying pan, add a little vegetable oil, when hot, use a big spoon to scoop the pancake mixture unto the frying, fry both side till golden brown with low heat.


See its pretty simple, and Hmmmmmm delicious, I ate mine with honey

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DATING A GIRL AND A WOMAN

I wrote a post on “The 11 Difference Between Dating a Boy vs a Man“. The post can have the genders swapped and most points would still apply, However, we can’t deny that there are some fundamental differences between men and women – from how we are socialized to the chemical and hormonal differences that naturally occur.
Thus, I thought it appropriate to follow up with a post on the difference between dating a girl, vs a real woman. Again, many points on this post would apply if you switched the genders around. A boy is attracted to girls. A man is attracted to women, Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. Also, this isn’t to say that a woman won’t ever have “girlish” or immature tendencies or vice verse. This post refers to one’s maturity and most points would also apply if you switch the genders as well. If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only girls, However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a real woman. And if you can’t spot the difference
just yet, here are some pointers.
1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn’t get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.
2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).
3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.
4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent – she banks on… herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it’s considered a bonus, not the expected life line.
5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there’s plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.
6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.
7. “A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.
8. A girl does not respect her body. She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it’s important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with. “A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets.
9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent. “After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.”
10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over 6 feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available… Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature real woman, or someone with an immature mind set. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn’t.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A MAN AND A BOY

I learned to love myself. I became independent, confident,and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage, instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up, I went from being a boy to becoming a man.
And as a man, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a boy. A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a real woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet,
here are some pointers.
1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may
have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life) or another purpose or passion. A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings, instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6. A man knows when to INVEST in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready, but the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunch with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up. Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.
*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FLAWS

A water bearer had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water, at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot always arrived only half full. For two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, fulfilled in the design for which it was made, but the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was unable to accomplish what it had been made to do.
After two years of enduring this bitter shame, the pot spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself and I apologize to you.”
“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”
“I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house, because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said, the water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers alongthe path.”
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and was cheered somewhat, but at the end of the trail, it still felt the old shame because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, “Did you not notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, and not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it, I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we’ve walked back from the stream, you’ve watered them, for two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table, without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”
Each of us has flaws. We’re all cracked pots, but if you let these flaws shine and try being yourself, then you can use your flaws to make the world more beautiful.
Don’t be afraid of your flaws, acknowledge them, and you, too, can bring something beautiful to this world.

MY WORST MISTAKE PART 8

I was angry on seeing the wicked woman.So she’s the one
troubling my family.This is the time to take my total revenge on her for all she did to me and still doing to my family. She was stunned and speechless on seeing me and my daughter, I saw confusion written all over her.She came to remind my parents that the next hearing in court is the next day.She drove out. We got into the house as i narrated my ordeal with mady to my mother. She cried bitterly and thanked God for saving my life. My father came in and i stood up .I thought he would yell at me,telling me that i am not his daughter and that i should get out but to my greatest surprise. He embraced me and started pleading for forgiveness amidst sobs, He said he has realized he was foolish for forsaking me.When my two sisters died,they became childless.I had to forgive him, he’s still my father anyway, Since God had mercy on me and made a way for me where there seemed to be no way,i had no reason not to forgive him but the only person i doubted if i would ever forgive was Gabe and his stupid request for my daughter, i would never give him my daughter.
In court the next day,mady didn't believe her eyes.She didn't know i had become a lawyer, i defended my parents as i overpowered mady’s lawyer, I spoke english upon english with questions to silence my opponent lawyer.I told the entire court that mady forged the documents, i brought up her child trafficking case in addiction to the one at hand.The chief judge asked me how i got to know.I told him that i knew for long but had no evidence to bring her to book.I told them what i went through with her but i made sure i didn't include prince and Ona into the story.She was handcuffed and held in custody while her house was searched, the number of girls in her house has reduced, I sought for Ona but i didn't see her, some rooms were broken into and after everything ,four human heads and two girls in different rooms were found.The girls were at the point of death as they were starved of food and water, this is enough evidence i said, We returned to the court.The human heads and the two hostages were shown to everybody, there was a great commotion in the court, Order was called for, Mady’s lawyer was too stunned to say anything and so,i fired on condemning the wicked act and reminding the chief judge that such calamity attracts death penalty(as if he wasn't aware) At the end of everything, The land case was dismissed, Victory belonged to us.My parents shed tears of joy as they both embraced me together.My father called me a great daughter for the very first time. I was so happy. Mady was sentenced to death by firing squad.I waved her goodbye with a smile telling her that everybody must reap what he or she sows.The black maria took her away.The court will have to go and lock her house. Just then,i saw a man being led into the court for another case hearing.He looked like someone i know.I stared at him again,Yes,its Prince.That’s surely prince.My parents asked if i knew him.I told them he’s the one that saved me from mady,together with another lady called Ona. I decided to defend him.He had killed somebody.The case was a tough one. I went close to him and whispered into his ears to say that he is not guilty that it was two man fighting,i knew he was guilty but i just had to help him. The case seemed tough but on the next hearing,i won the case for him.He expressed gratitute.He knew the court would have sentenced him to life imprisonment or death as he had no one to defend him.He told me that Ona had died the previous year, I wept and prayed for her wherever she may be.I advised prince to start up a good business.
** On getting home
one day,i saw Nnamdi waiting for me.He was begging for my forgiveness.My parents begged me to forgive him.My daughter heard everything and demanded an explanation.I hid nothing from her.Nnamdi embraced her, I quickly drew back my daughter.But at last, I forgave Nnamdi and allowed him give me a tight,long and warm embrace.I was crying.I allowed him access to his daughter but not to take away completely from me. I later got married to prince.I was a happy woman.I recalled my trials and thanked God for everything.My mistake of getting pregnant before marriage almost ruined my life but i was successful in the end.
Thanks be to God!

MY WORST MISTAKE PART 7

Prince opened the door and behold,it was Ona, I made to Come out from my hiding but i decided to stay where i was,to find out her mission. She was panting.”Dagger,there is problem.A girl who refused to play along with mady has escaped.Mady is on her way to this place to tell you to mobilize your boys and search for her.This is her photo…..”
I Peeped and saw her bring out a picture.I knew i was the one in that photo, i saw prince stare at the picture, shaking his head. “Please don't hurt her when you eventually find her, rather save her life, the poor girl is just helpless and innocent.The baby under your care to be sold to the ritualists  is hers, I gave her a number to reach me…”On hearing this,i came out from my hiding.
“My daughter..my daughter…”that was all i was saying, Ona was so shocked to find me there, Prince later told her what happened and added that i used to be a good friend of his back in school. Prince told me that he would help me on one condition,being that i must tell nobody about mady and the kind of business she does, agreed and he made me swear.I wondered why he was trying to protect the evil woman.Perhaps they are all into the business together, the same doom awaited them. He arranged a room for me in a distant hotel for the mean time.He brought my daughter to me that very day, i was so grateful to him and Ona, perhaps he decided to help me because of how good i used to be to him back in our school days, even Ona, another God sent i don't know how to repay her but i know God will see her through someday.
Prince gave me a huge sum of money to travel to another state and start life afresh, I owed him a lot.
*I never got any information on what transpired after prince and ona saved me.I didnt  also know anything about Gabe’s where about, even mama joy and my parents, but i knew and believed that i would see them again someday, what gave me the greatest joy was my winnie,my daughter.
...
After some years” I struggled hard to further my education and train my daughter in school too, after everything,i graduated as a lawyer.I got enough money from my clients,My daughter was living a good life and doing well in school too, i bought a car and owned a house, God really blessed me after many years of hardship. An idea struck my mind to visit home with my daughter to know the situation of things, But i never knew what awaited me back home
...
It was mama joy’s place i visited first.As i drove into the compound,it was Gabe i saw first, he kept looking at the car to know who was inside.I didn't want winnie my daughter to see him.I feared he might ask me about his daughter.When i parked the car,i told winnie to wait in the car.I came down and pretended not to see him, I noticed him come my car while i avoided him as i made my way towards mama joy’s place.When she saw me,she yelled with joy and embraced me.Then Gabe came there and called my name.I ignored him, He prostrated on the ground and started begging me to forgive him, he told how he had married twice and got no issue.He asked about my daughter, i told him to leave me alone that his daughter is dead.I saw tears roll down his cheeks.He was really sorrowful.I made up my mind never to forgive him.I watched him walk away in agony Mama Joy told me that he was telling the truth.She told me that after getting married for a very long time,he got no child.His people told him to send the woman away and marry another,which he did and still no issue to show for it, The doctors said that nothing’s wrong with him and that God’s time is the best.”Serves him right.God is punishing him for what he did to me”that was all i said, I gave mama joy things i bought for her, i gave her money too, she was so happy. I entered my car and as i was driving away, Gabe was waving me goodbye with tears in his eyes.
“mum,who is that man over there?”my daughter asked,pointing at Gabe, I told her lies, I drove straight to my father’s compound,  it was my mother i saw first, as i came down with my daughter,i was surprised as my mother gave me a warm embrace.She apologized on her behalf and on behalf of her husband.she embraced my daughter too, I was happy when she called her”my granddaughter” I cried bitterly when she told me that my two sisters died in a ghastly accident.My father went for a meeting, I was shocked when she told me that a woman from nowhere showed up and said that almost all our lands belonged to her, she took the case to court because she has a lot of money, i told my mum to relax that i am a lawyer.She couldn't believe it, as we were still talking,a car drove into our compound.”That is the woman”my mother said. The woman packed her car and came out, I was shocked when i saw Mady come down from the car.

MY WORST MISRAKE PART 6

I knocked on Mady’s door thrice before she opened it, I greeted her.she yawned, looked at the wall clock hanging on the wall.it was 5.45am.”How was your night?”she asked. “fine”i replied. She made to usher me in,perhaps to hear me tell her ‘yes! i will accept the offer’ but i was reluctant.She noticed and asked if there was any problem. “I want to see my child”i told her. She looked at me intently as if she didn't know who I was, after much staring,she told me that my child is with the nursery mistress. “Where do i find her?”i asked, she said nothing.All she did was to walk into her room and come back with a little bag.she handed it over to me. “This is the money we talked about, take it and leave.i have taken your daughter as mine already, Go and get ready with the rest girls,you are going on your first outing with them today?”she said and shut the door. “Noo i don't want your money.i need my daughter.I don't want to stay here anymore.Give me my daughter so i can leave”i kept shouting as i hit the door hard.I threw away the money, I can never exchange my winnie, the first fruit of my womb for money, I was still there when three hefty men came out from nowhere and ordered me to keep quiet.i refused.One of them gave me the hardest slap i ever received since i was born.I had no other choice than to keep quiet amidst sobs They locked me in one room, i knew mady ordered them to do that.I cried bitterly.I prayed to God to hearken unto my cries for i know i have sinned, I cursed the day i slept with Gabe, I cursed the day i met him, Throughout that day,i was locked up with no food nor water.I became very weak. It was around 10pm that i heard the door open slightly Ona creeped in and signaled to me to keep quiet.she locked the door and gave me the food she brought for me” “I saw what happened, i have been looking for a chance to bring you something but i found none.Please eat the food fast before mady finds me here”she whispered. After eating,she told me that mady locked me up so that i will die of starvation.Ona said mady has killed countless girls in that manner.I was really surprised at this that i gave out a loud gasp. “But because i found out you are a nice person,i decided to help you.I put something in that ”three men’s” drink to make them sleep.I want you to escape”She said.I was really touched with this kind of kindness. “But how do i escape without my daughter?”i asked.It was then Ona told me that my daughter has been taken away.She gave me some money, led me carefully out of the house and bade me safe journey.
“Thank you so much,Ona.God will bless you”i said as i left, I looked into the darkness of the night with a great fear,not knowing where to go.I wondered if i could survive that night and if i can ever see my daughter again.
...
I headed into the darkness of the night.I was filled with fear as i knew not where to go, Ona gave me her telephone number.I blamed my parents for abandoning me in the first place, How could they be so heartless, They care not about what happens to me because i got pregnant.Despite the fact that i pleaded and begged them.I pitied other people who were blessed with understanding parents.If i had aborted the baby as Gabe told me,they wouldn't have abandoned me.They wouldn't have even know i was pregnant at all.But the consequences may be disastrous.Firstly, Firstly,sinning against God double in order to cover one sin committed.Secondly,i may never get pregnant again, I decided to accept my fate, I searched for where to lay my head that night.I saw an uncompleted building and moved in.I prayed earnestly for God’s protection.I remembered my daughter and wept bitterly.I thought of mama joy and concluded that i will narrate my ordeals to her the following day when i eventually find her.
In the middle of that same night,i heard footsteps, I curled up,listening attentively, they were coming into the uncompleted building.My heart started beating faster,i heard their voice,they were men.A cold shiver ran through me, Then entered and saw me,immediately,i saw them bring out their weapons.Guns,axes and cutlasses.They were six in number.I was able to count them because one of them shone a little torch towards me.
“i mean no harm please, don't kill me”my voice was shaky. “Who are you and what do you want here?”One of them barked and pointed the torch at my face.
“Nneoma?”I was shocked as i heard him call my name.He called me again.”Is that you?” At this i nodded while still looking at his face to find out who he was.I finally got it.
“Prince”I called him.Prince used to be my classmate until i got pregnant and stopped school. I used to help him his class work and assignment back in those days, during exams,i wrote answers in piece of paper,squeezed it and threw it to him.
“Dagger,you know her?”that was the question his members started asking him.I kept looking at his face in disbelief as he nodded his head in affirmation, He told them to keep back their weapons.
That night i slept at his place.He told me to sleep on the bed while,he slept on the floor. When it was morning,i narrated my ordeals to him. When i got to my escapade with mady,he breathed heavily,lowered his head and looked at me for a very long time.I was surprised when he told me that he’s mady’s agent and that he can help me get back my daughter because of the things i did for him back in school.
There was a knock on the door.is it mady? Has she discovered that i escaped.has she come to tell prince to find me with his men?she knew she would be in trouble if i escaped.Prince hid me under his bed as he went to open the door.
....Watch out for part 7.

MY WORST MISTAKE PART 5

Mady was the name, everyone called my new helper and
she really was a lovely woman to behold. Her grand
beauty was very spectacular and solid. But upon all the
beauty and air she carried she still remained unmarried,
which i found very strange. I really wasn’t surprised to
see lots of young girls in her house when i moved in to
live with her, because she told me she was running a non
governmental organisation which cared for homeless
street girls, but i never imagined she could be so rich as
to own a giant two storey building, a thirty room
quarters {built like a hostel} and another small bungalow
all fenced together in one big compound. Three 504
salon cars and a mercedes 200 adorned her garage. I
couldn’t help but notice that the girls who lived under
her care all idolized her, because she was friendly to all
with her sweet mouth. “i started from the streets but now
i own all these” she said as she showed me round the
massive compound, while I smiled happily, thinking i had
finally gotten to the land flowing with milk and honey. I
was later introduced and handed over to a girl called
Ona, whose work was to help, educate and make me look
good, while Little winnie was taken away from me and
handed over to an old woman whom they called mama
nurse. “She will be better off in our nursery” the old
nurse had assured me as she carried my little girl, but I
still insisted on seeing the nursery, which after a little
hesitation, she led me to the extreme end of the main
house, through a hall-way and into a large room built
underneath. Cribs, toys, and clothes of various sizes
adorned the room making it look beautiful. “you see your
little angel will be properly cared for here, just keep
thanking Mady, she really cares for you girls” she
murmured with a smile, while i shrugged and said
nothing. The nursery truly was a paradise to behold,
compared to the store i used to live with my little girl, yet
it looked very creepy to me, making me a bit scared.
However i paid no heed to my feelings, thinking i felt
uncomfortable because it was the first time winnie was
leaving my care…. But i was very wrong.
..
Mady sent for me later in the evening, Ona led me to see
her, leading me directly to Mady’s room. A well furnished
spacious room adorned with beautiful red curtains and a goldstar colour T.v. I couldn’t help but feast my eyes on the beautiful things surrounding me. Mady was comfortably sitting on her bed when we got there, a
newspaper resting on her laps, making her look like a female military administrator. She smiled as soon as she noticed our presence and nodded to Ona. “thanks for bringing her, you can now leave us” she said calmly to
Ona, who quickly obeyed and left the room, “come sit
here my dear” she said to me, pointing to a small chair
facing her bed, I nervously obeyed without a word, “hope
you are getting acquainted with your new home?” she
asked curiously, examining me with her eyes. “oh yes,
thanks alot, you are so kind” i replied gratefully. “Ona did
a good job with your hair. I like your new look” she said
smiling, while i blushed. “anyway i invited you here for
something important. I really can’t wait till tomorrow
because you know time is money, moreover i will like
you to sleep over what i have to tell you” she said slowly,
keenly observing my reaction. I nodded calmly, my heart
beating furiously. I couldn’t imagine what could be so
serious for her to invite me by that hour. 10:30pm the
wall clock in her room displayed. “i invited you here
because of your daughter winnie. I will very much love to
adopt her. She’s very cute and i promise she will have the
best life can offer.I will give you N200,000 ”she said. A
cold shiver ran through me.That was a huge amount,i
reasoned.At least with that,i could start up something.But
i beheld my daughter’s image and shook my head. ”I cant
accept it ma,i want to be with my daughter”i replied. “Go
and think about it.and talk to me tomorrow.Rememb
er,you dont need the child now.you dont have anybody
to take care of you.you have to move on with your life as
a young girl that you are”she finally said and dismissed
me. “N200,000!?,ona exclaimed,you are lucky.the other
time,she gave blessing N100,000 to have her child” I was
suprised at what ona said and i asked”where is the baby
now?” “nobody knows”she replied. ”and where is blessing
now?”i asked “Few days from now,you will start doing
what she is doing.you have to survive.use what you have
to get what you want” Her explanation baffled me.
“prostitution?God forbid.Over my dead body.That night,i
didnt get enough sleep,i was looking at the time to know
when it will be dawn,so that i will go to mady and
demand for my daughter and leave this place.I know God
wont reject me if everybody does. But do i think i would
get back my daughter so easily?
....Watch out for part 6.

My worst mistake Part 4

Good-day DAD” i greeted fearfully as he approached me,but he simply gave me a terrible look, spat and shook his head, “you are no daughter of mine, you are a big disgrace to my family, just look at yourself and what you have done to your future” he muttered with an angry tone, walked into mum’s shop cursing angrily. I was extremely disheartened and down casted. “dear lord open up the earth and swallow me, please” i knelt and cried. People passed by and watched me silently, some laughed, some murmured inaudible words, some scoffed, some sighed in pity, some shrugged and cursed my parents, but none came forward to help me. Not even my younger sisters. By 4pm that fateful day, i returned to my land-lady’s shop with a broken spirit and a weak body. There were tears in her eyes as she saw me walk in. She quickly offered me a chair before giving me a plate of rice. ‘Oh i really would have died that fateful day if not for her’. I can never forget all she did for me.
Our land-lady fondly called Mama Joy by everyone who knew her was a very kind hearted old woman, who managed to raise her three children all alone with the little profit she made from the small street corner “food- Joint” she owned. Her husband{our landlord} was just a well known drunkard and gambler who spent all the money he made from his old house, drinking and gambling. He really made‘pool promoters and agents’very wealthy with his stupidity. Mama Joy was thus forced to fight for her children alone, perhaps that was the main reason she felt and understood my plight.
“don’t worry my dear, i’ll talk to Gabe when he returns this evening, i really don’t understand men nor boys of nowadays” she assured me as i ate with a broken spirit.
“what will i do if Gabe refuses to listen to her” i wondered fearfully, “perhaps mama Joy will allow me work for her” i reasoned with a dry smile, “but where will i be sleeping” i asked myself sorrowfully. I really was very worried as we waited for Gabe to show up that fateful day. But to my extreme surprise, he came home by
9:30pm, dragging a young strange woman who looked like a whore with him. I was broken hearted, dejected and in tears. Mama Joy simply shrugged and held me. “that’s some of the things we poor women face in life, don’t let it bother you” she calmly advised. But something deep down told me i had lost Nnamdi forever. The little hopes i had were dashed that moment.
..
“what do i do now?” i sobbed uncontrollably, “nothing my dear, absolutely nothing” mama Joy calmly replied and held me. “where do i lay my head tonight? Where do i go from here?” i asked unhappily, “my dear, do trust in God he alone has control over our destiny, don’t give up” she calmly advised. But i really was very heart broken and scared, because i knew i was lost in an unfriendly world where my own family rejected me. “my husband really won’t tolerate you staying with us, but i hope you can manage my store {storage room}, it’s very spacious and there is an old mattress in it” she said to me as i sobbed. I instantly looked at her hopefully, i never expected her to help me further, thus my delight and happiness as little hope fell on me. “you can stay there till you get a better accommodation, you can also come work for me in my restaurant and make small money for yourself, at least with it you can make better plans for your future. I just wish i’m a rich woman, i would have helped you more” she murmured. “oh don’t bother ma” you have done more than enough for me, something my own mum couldn’t do” i answered gratefully. That was how i found myself under Mama Joy’s care. I slept in her store at night and worked in her restaurant during the day. I worked tirelessly as i tried to discard my sorrows and earn something decent for myself. Gabe never for a day lifted a finger to help me nor ask of his daughter’s welfare, even though we do see each other everyday, Instead he continued making me jealous by bringing different girls to his room. His actions hurts me a lot but i pretended as if i didn’t care. I held my pride, suffered silently and never begged. Three months i suffered and toiled under Mama Joy’s care, until September when a good looking middle aged woman who patronized her restaurant came into my life, offering to help me raise my child. Her sweet tongue and behavior really convinced me of her good intentions that without second thoughts, i accepted her help against Mama Joy’s reservations. A week later I moved into the woman’s house without giving it a second thought. Little did i know that misfortune awaited me.
..
Source: ANONYMOUS 

MY WORST MISTAKE PART 3

My dear stop crying and think ahead, crying over split milk dosen’t make any sense” our land-lady advised as she led me to her apartment.
“my life is useless i feel like dying” i wept, “my dear stop mocking God, he alone knows the reason he kept you alive, so don’t be ungrateful” she cautioned. “i however think you should leave your bag with me, return to your family and see if they will accept you” she advised minutes later, after i had calmed down a little. I cleaned my eyes and stared at her with prayers in my lips. “i pray they do, if not i’m stranded and doomed” I murmured with a broken spirit, knowing fully well the kind of parents i had. Only divine intervention could make them change their stand.
But I had no choice than to try my luck once again. I trekked from Igbariam to Nnaji-nwede street where my parents resided, carrying Winnie with me. I couldn’t afford using public transport that fateful morning, because i needed to make good use of the little money i had.
...
Mum was the only one at home when i got there, making me relax a bit as i rested in her shop which was just in front of the house. The fire in her eyes died as soon as she saw me, tears quickly formed in them as she stared
at my weak body. “nne” was all she could mutter, while i swallowed hard with tears in my eyes. Other mothers would have reached out and carried their daughter’s child who equally was her grand daughter, but she didn’t, instead
stared at us with pity.
Even though she never did support dad’s harsh treatment towards me, she equally never condemned it, perhaps because i had five other younger sisters, whom they needed to protect by using my punishment as a lesson and example to them.
“mum help me please i have nowhere else to go, Gabe threw me out of his house this morning” i sobbed and knelt by her side with little winnie in my arms. She breathed deeply, scratched her head and stared at the ceiling.
“have you eaten today?” i heard her ask.
“no mum food isn’t my problem” i replied with tears.
“i have beans let me get some for you” she murmured, left her shop and went into the house to get a plate of beans for me.
She returned with it, dropped the plate on a small stool, and reluctantly carried little winnie, so that i could eat properly.
...
“please be quick with it, because you have to leave before your dad shows up, I don’t want his problem today” she urged. Her comment really broke my heart, but i was already used to such comments. I rushed up with my meal,
washed my mouth and thanked her.
“now you can leave abeg” she murmured and gave me fifty naira, “use it to buy pap for your daughter” she added a bit coldly. I closed my eyes out of pain but tears refused to fall out.
“mum i have no-where to go” i reminded her, but all she
did was just to shrug. “it’s none of my business you aren’t our responsibility anymore, if you have any case, do present it to your father please and not to me” she replied nervously. Leaving me once again lost, confused and hopeless,
“how can i face dad when mum is behaving like this” I wondered.
I had hoped with time that their cold behaviour towards
me will reduce, but instead of reducing, it only increased.
“anwúómú ööö{i don die} here comes your dad” mum
exclaimed as she sighted him from afar seconds later,
instantly pushing me out of her shop.
I stood outside and waited for dad defiantly, with a Broken spirit and winnie in my arms, “whatever will be, will eventually be, let it happen now” I said myself as i waited for him to finish me..
..
Watch out for part 4

MEN MARRY THE WOMEN THEY WANT TO MARRY

The idea that men are clueless allows them to get away
with all manner of bad behavior that would have been
intolerable just a generation or two ago.
Men know that most women want marriage. Women
need to know that many men will do everything in their
power to get all the benefits of marriage, except without
commitment. While you’re getting exasperated thinking
he’s stupid because he spends money on you, he’s ruining you.
Men understand women on a level that you can never
begin to grasp, because it’s from the mindset of a hunter.
And a good hunter has an intrinsic understanding of his
prey. Women make the mistake of thinking that they are
wiser than men. Immoral men understand a crucial component of the
female psyche: For most women: Hope springs eternal,
so if he plays his cards right, he can string you along for
years without proposing.
Most of us know at least one woman who waited for a
man to marry her, waited sometimes for a decade or
more. She played house with him, took care of him,
cooked, cleaned, etc. but he never married her.
Finally she ends the relationship and he marries the next
woman he dates after only six months or maybe less. I
think we all know a woman like this because it reinforces
something we already know: MEN MARRY THE WOMEN
THEY WANT TO MARRY. And if you’re not that woman you
are not just it. It’s absolutely foolish to play wife for a
man who can’t be bothered to actually marry you.
Bottom line is; if you've reached the point in your
relationship where it’s time for “The Talk” and it hasn't
happened, or he brushes it off when you raise the
subject, move on. Why? Because men who want to get
married, get married. It’s not that he’s not into marriage,
or he’s still dealing with “issues” from a previous
relationship, or whatever other folder he puts out there.
There’s only one reason a man doesn't get married: HE
DOESN'T WANT TO. At least, NOT TO YOU. Don’t fool yourself. A man who wants you will be rushing YOU to the altar. Why? Because he’s terrified that you’ll
get away from him. A man in love is all too aware that he
has a pearl beyond price. Further he knows there is a
plethora of other predatory males just waiting to snatch
her away.
You don’t have to beg him or persuade him or coerce
him, trap him with pregnancy or fast for days. The only
thing you’ll get for all your trouble is a decimated self-
esteem and the knowledge that you wasted your skinny
years on a man who didn't want you in the first place.

MY WORST MISTAKE PART 2!!!!

Gabe soon woke up, ignored my greeting, washed his

mouth and left the house without a word. I was terribly

scared because of the way he looked at me. I knew it was

just a matter of seconds before he kicks us out of his

room. I sobbed quietly as i lamented my fate. “My mates

are all with their parents, enjoying their lives and

planning for a brighter future. Here i’m suffering like a

refugee” i reasoned with tears. “only if i had listened to

him months ago and terminated my baby, i wouldn’t be

suffering in this manner” i said to myself bitterly. But

deep down in my heart i equally knew i rejected to do his

bidding because i couldn’t bear such guilt which would

have been terrible and unbearable. Winnie’s loud cry

soon calmed me. I quietly carried her, changed her

napkin, breastfed and sang a lullaby for her.

 He came in that moment eyeing us. “have you packed all your

things?” he asked coldly. I swallowed hard and stared at

him pleadingly. 

“please don’t do this to us” i begged, “we

are already managing well, i’ll start a trade very soon” i

added. He scratched his head uneasily and again eyed me

murderously, “do you call this life eeh? Abeg shut that

your dirty mouth” he barked, before grabbing all my

clothes which he dumped inside an old large bag, fetched

winnie’s things and equally dumped them in it. “here is

two hundred and fifty Naira {N250} it’s your transport

fare to your parents house, i have tried enough for you, i

won’t kill myself doing it mtcheeew” he muttered and

threw the money at me. Tears instantly fell

uncontrollably from my eyes, i had no where to go. I was

doomed, I dropped winnie on the bed, knelt and begged

him “please Gabe, please” i begged again and again,

but instead of my pleas to calm him, it infuriated him

tremendously. He slapped me hard, grabbed the bag and

threw it out of his room. “i will do the same to you and

this baby if you don’t leave peacefully” he threatened. I

stared at him heartbroken, and hungry, cursing the day i

granted him access to my body. The story of my love life

with Nnamdi really is a long one. An affair which never

should have happened in the first place had i ignored my

heart, because he really had nothing to offer me, yet i

foolishly fell in love with him. A very stupid teenage love

affair which i now regret. Love dosen’t work in an empty

stomach, neither does it work in an unsecured

environment. Gabe wasn’t in love with me any longer

because circumstances changed and he only saw me as a

burden to his miserable life. He totally ignored Winnie’s

cries, my pleas and our neighbours preachings as he

pushed us out of his house that fateful morning. A day i

was supposed to be happy because it was my birthday.

•

WATCH OUT FOR PART 3

SOURCE: ANONYMOUS 

MY WORST MISTAKE PART 1

I woke up from sleep with a very terrible headache, while
hunger and fear occupied the rest of my body. Gabe who
was lying by my side instantly coughed, startling me. I
rubbed my eyes, got up from bed and smiled at little winnie
who was sleeping peaceful on her
cot. That fateful day was my 19th birthday, but instead of
being the happiest day of my life, it brought great
suspence, fear and sorrow with it. It was equally the last
day Gabe, my boyfriend and also little Winnie’s father
gave me to pack out from his room.
Our relationship suddenly turned sour when i got pregnant
for him. He never wanted me to keep the baby, but i refused
to terminate it leaving him with no choice than to accept
responsibility,when my parents threw me
out of their house. I was in SS3 when it happened, while he
was just a struggling brick layer and a motor mechanic
apprentice. We both were from poor backgrounds which
truly worsened everything. I was then left at his mercy, and
out of frustration he never allowed a moment to pass
without reminding me
of the hardship i was causing him and how unlucky i was.
Those were the moments i felt like killing myself. I admit i
made a terribly mistake by having unprotected sex and
getting pregnant for him, but harming my innocent baby
was what i really couldn’t do. I managed and struggled with
determination until i gave
birth to my little girl on 21st december 1988. Nnamdi on his
part grudgingly supported me by providing the little
he had which he never did without complaining, but the love
and joy my little girl brought into my life sustained
and gave me hope. As soon as little winnie was born, he
gave me six months to leave his house. At first i thought it was one of his
numerous careless comments, but as June slowly drew
near, he began singing it almost everyday in my ears.
Leaving me confused, demoralized and unhappy.
It really wasn’t as if he was spending much on us. I only
ate twice daily while little winnie survived on my breast
milk and few ‘Tins’ of baby milk concerned neighbours
especially our land-lady do give us.
The previous day {21st June}, he almost strangled me
simply because i begged him to allow us stay few more
months with him.
I had no money on me, no family to seek because to
them i was good as dead. Not even when i took little
Winnie to them months after she was born did their
mind change.
I murmured some prayers as i awaited my fate,
wondering where to go, when he eventually wakes up
and throws us out.
.
.
.
• Watch out for Part 2..

SOURCE: ANONYMOUS