DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DATING A GIRL AND A WOMAN

I wrote a post on “The 11 Difference Between Dating a Boy vs a Man“. The post can have the genders swapped and most points would still apply, However, we can’t deny that there are some fundamental differences between men and women – from how we are socialized to the chemical and hormonal differences that naturally occur.
Thus, I thought it appropriate to follow up with a post on the difference between dating a girl, vs a real woman. Again, many points on this post would apply if you switched the genders around. A boy is attracted to girls. A man is attracted to women, Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. Also, this isn’t to say that a woman won’t ever have “girlish” or immature tendencies or vice verse. This post refers to one’s maturity and most points would also apply if you switch the genders as well. If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only girls, However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a real woman. And if you can’t spot the difference
just yet, here are some pointers.
1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn’t get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.
2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).
3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.
4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent – she banks on… herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it’s considered a bonus, not the expected life line.
5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there’s plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.
6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.
7. “A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.
8. A girl does not respect her body. She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it’s important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with. “A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets.
9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent. “After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.”
10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over 6 feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available… Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature real woman, or someone with an immature mind set. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn’t.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A MAN AND A BOY

I learned to love myself. I became independent, confident,and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage, instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up, I went from being a boy to becoming a man.
And as a man, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a boy. A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a real woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet,
here are some pointers.
1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may
have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life) or another purpose or passion. A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings, instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6. A man knows when to INVEST in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready, but the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunch with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up. Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.
*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.

SOME DAYS, I BREAK!!!

Human beings are emotionally strong at different level, we all have how best we handle emotional pain or trauma, some spend a day, some it takes months, some years, we all have our different ways we handle it.
Each passing day, you see me smiling, laughing not because I don't have pains or within me I am settled, you see me that way, because I have found out, that it is best to smile, raise your head up and say everything is fine, when someone asks you, I know a problem shared is half solved, but it's also a new topic for gossip, I have been burned so I know how best to keep my problems and walk around with a smile.
Some days I won't remember, some days, it is like am walking with all the problems in the world on my shoulders, but yet I find the strength to get up, dress up and show up, but yet some days I break, I feel the pang of the pain I have been holding inside for long, gnawing at the flesh on my chest seeking for a way of escape, all I can do is curl up into a ball at an extreme corner and cry, what else do I have to do other than to cry, if am fortunate for one hour, sometimes through out the night, it's not my wish for me to break but because am human, made of flesh and blood, with raging feelings emanating from work stress, school stress, family stress, relationship stress, breaking down means I can pick my self up and try again and again till I attain the level of balance I desire.
All I am saying is it is okay and normal to break down, but what is not okay is giving up and staying at that level, pick up your emotions, rearrange them appropriately and try again, keep trying. Our hearts is one fascinating organ, it goes through so much pain but yet bounces back again and again.

KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!

Dear girls.
I heard you like bad boys. Those guys who act like they
don't care about you,which makes you try harder to make
them like you. Those guys who wouldn't reply to your texts
until later on,which makes you wait around & miss him
more. Those guys who act distant from you,which makes
you try harder to get their attention. Those guys who know
they can get a lot of girls,which makes you more afraid to
lose them. Those guys who would show you they're
interested one day then act different the next day,which
makes you too confused to make the decision to leave him.
Those guys who will make you fall for them but they can
care less,which makes you stuck & not being able to move
on cause you care too much. Has anyone ever told you you
deserve better than that? You probably have & you know
what? It's about time you realize that... If a guy likes
you,he'll meet you halfway. Simple as that. Don't settle for a
bad boy when you deserve a good man.
# KnowYourWorth