SHOE SHOPPING

I dreaded going shoe shopping, right from when I was a little girl. I hated walking behind my Mum going from shop to shop in the Market searching for a shoe I would love and that would fit my ever growing feet, I have always had a long feet, leaving a shop broken hearted because the shoe I loved didn't size me, oya get up let's go to the next shop my Mum would say, I would frown, grumble and still go, the whole process of the shop owner or his boys forcing my leg into a shoe that was obviously not my size, Force your leg, force am, March the shoe well, aunty na your size, E go size you, na shoe e go expand, most of the time I return home with sore feet or a shoe I hated.
Last week I went Shoe Shopping, and as always the store owners were not nice, neither were they friendly, when I got in

Store Attendant: Aunty Wetin be your size?

Me: size 42 or 43

Store Attendant : Yeayyyyyy Aunty as you fine reach, you come get big leg, na man shoe we go give you o, we no go see your size o, e no dey market o


On and on he went, I just laughed and asked him if he was the one that created me, I no be God wey dey create person na, at least I have both legs complete, and the day I see my size or the shoe I like, the prize scares even the devil, double the amount of a smaller size of the same shoe, it's really heartbreaking.
Sometimes my friends tease the living day light out of me, the first thing they do when they enter my room is to start wearing my shoes, Haba Debby, your leg big sha, as if I dont know already

Dear store attendants everywhere, please be nice to people with big feet, it's not our fault, it's just that during creation, when God was sharing feet, we collected for two.

BUSY OR NOT

I came across this picture  on Instagram and screen shot it. It brought to mind the conversation I had with a friend, he told me he was going clubbing this night, since it was Friday #TGIF, and wanted to go rock (dance) girls, I said rock well, the he said ' debbie I know you will be jealous now, thinking I will be  with a girl, kissing, smooching romancing and doing all other stuffs, meanwhile I will be in my room sleeping, I laughed so hard. 

Our mind is really quite fascinating, it conjures up vivid pictures of what it wants us to believe, it might be it's because it happened to someone you know, or someone who knows someone who knows someone you know, you call the boo, no answer, you call again, still no answer, again again, no answer, you start worrying about about how they are with another person, betraying your love, trust, meanwhile the boo is sleeping comfortably, I am busy might just mean I am busy,or I forgot my phone might really be I forgot my phone, this is one reason why trust is of utmost importance in a relationship, no matter how you love someone and there is no trust , my dear that relationship will be like Mountt Zion that can never be moved. 

CYBER BULLY

Cyber bullying is common these days on all popular social networks ranging from, Facebook to twitter, to Instagram,it's the use of technology in harassing an individual, cyber bullying us not limited to messages, or texts it can also be a video which a person finds offensive, cyber bullying is by far one of the worst kind of bullying ever, you don't know the person picking on you, do they can't be traced, most of the time they are anonymous. Most people don't really know the damage, cyber bullying causes to an individual, it can lead to loss in appetite, stress, sleepless night, we comes across someone being bullied online then join or laugh cause we think it's funny and entertaining forgetting the damage it does to the person been bullied, I for one haven't bullied anyone online but I do recall laughing to myself when I came across someone been bullied on facebook, I considered it to be funny, karma really does work, the next morning someone on twitter called me ugly, at first I brushed it off my mind, since I know I am not ugly, I logged off, later in the day I logged back in, I saw the attention the tweet received from other Twitter users, I was laughed at, insulted the more, I felt hurt, like maybe I was actually ugly, but then it dawned on me that this is what people who are bullied constantly on the Internet feel each day, from that day onward, when I come across someone been bullied on the net, I send them a positive message, who knows, just maybe it would be what would make their day.

Cyber bullying is not limited to kids or young adult only, older people also do it whether knowingly or unknowingly, as long as you bringing someone else down just to feel good about your self, you already a bully, if you know someone that's been bullied, get them to open up to you, encourage them and make them feel good about their selves, I have come across so many cases of suicides resulting from cyber bullying it's really heartbreaking.

I MADE PANCAKES!!

I can't remember the last time I made pancakes, but today I was bored and I won't forget to add hungry, so I decided to make a little pancake, for me, myself and I unfortunately my little brother came home with his friends and reduced my ration twas quite sad and unfortunate.
This recipe is for one, you can increase the amount in case you want more

INGREDIENTS

Flour --- one cup

Egg --- one

Milk --- as desired, I used more than half tin of milk

Seasonings --- salt, Maggi, pepper (grinded), you can also add diced tomatoes, pepper and onions but I didn't

Sugar. ----. One tablespoonfull

Water--- one cup

Vegetable oil for frying

METHOD

STEP ONE

Break the egg into a clean bowl and whisk a little, then add the sugar and whisk till the sugar dissolves completely, then add half cup of water whisk and again and put the remaining half cup of water aside, Add the seasonings.

STEP TWO

Sieve the flour into another bowl.

STEP THREE

Add the tin milk to the egg mixture.

STEP FOUR

Gradually add the flour into the egg mixture, and whisk continuously without stopping till it all the flour are in the egg mixture, without lumps, The mixture would be a little thick, add the remaining water and mix very well.

STEP FIVE

Get a clean frying pan, add a little vegetable oil, when hot, use a big spoon to scoop the pancake mixture unto the frying, fry both side till golden brown with low heat.


See its pretty simple, and Hmmmmmm delicious, I ate mine with honey

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DATING A GIRL AND A WOMAN

I wrote a post on “The 11 Difference Between Dating a Boy vs a Man“. The post can have the genders swapped and most points would still apply, However, we can’t deny that there are some fundamental differences between men and women – from how we are socialized to the chemical and hormonal differences that naturally occur.
Thus, I thought it appropriate to follow up with a post on the difference between dating a girl, vs a real woman. Again, many points on this post would apply if you switched the genders around. A boy is attracted to girls. A man is attracted to women, Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. Also, this isn’t to say that a woman won’t ever have “girlish” or immature tendencies or vice verse. This post refers to one’s maturity and most points would also apply if you switch the genders as well. If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only girls, However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a real woman. And if you can’t spot the difference
just yet, here are some pointers.
1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn’t get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.
2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).
3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.
4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent – she banks on… herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it’s considered a bonus, not the expected life line.
5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there’s plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.
6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.
7. “A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.
8. A girl does not respect her body. She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it’s important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with. “A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets.
9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent. “After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.”
10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over 6 feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available… Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature real woman, or someone with an immature mind set. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn’t.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A MAN AND A BOY

I learned to love myself. I became independent, confident,and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage, instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up, I went from being a boy to becoming a man.
And as a man, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a boy. A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a real woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet,
here are some pointers.
1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may
have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life) or another purpose or passion. A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings, instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6. A man knows when to INVEST in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready, but the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunch with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up. Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.
*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FLAWS

A water bearer had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water, at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot always arrived only half full. For two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, fulfilled in the design for which it was made, but the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was unable to accomplish what it had been made to do.
After two years of enduring this bitter shame, the pot spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself and I apologize to you.”
“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”
“I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house, because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said, the water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers alongthe path.”
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and was cheered somewhat, but at the end of the trail, it still felt the old shame because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, “Did you not notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, and not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it, I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we’ve walked back from the stream, you’ve watered them, for two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table, without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”
Each of us has flaws. We’re all cracked pots, but if you let these flaws shine and try being yourself, then you can use your flaws to make the world more beautiful.
Don’t be afraid of your flaws, acknowledge them, and you, too, can bring something beautiful to this world.